I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
