i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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