My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
