She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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