ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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