I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
