Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize