You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
