Is it because I queefed?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
