I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
