i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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