And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
