we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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