Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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