its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
