I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
