I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
