I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
