So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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