It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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