Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
