I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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