She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
