My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
