Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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