Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
