I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
