i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Even my vagina gasped.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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