got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
