Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
