Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
