how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize