I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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