Need sex. Gaining weight.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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