I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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