They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
