I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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