Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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