So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
