My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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