theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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