How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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