why didn't you poke me back
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
