Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
