i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
