can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
