Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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