I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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