So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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