dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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