whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
