whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
