The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
