Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
