some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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